Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
