My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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