Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
