508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
