She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
