WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
