Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
