Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
this is an emotional support booty call
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
