Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
