I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
