we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
