Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
