I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
