Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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