I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
