Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
