how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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