I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
