so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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