I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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