Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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