Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
