Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize