West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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