My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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