U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Houston, we have a blender
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
