i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
