I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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