she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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