And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
