i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I party with great urgency now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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