The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
birth control should be required to get into college
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize