And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
