please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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