i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
