Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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