he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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