I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
