May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
