On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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