she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
