Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
