Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
