O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
