I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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