I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize