I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Drake has all the answers
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
