I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
