I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you would pick up someone in the library
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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