sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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