Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
