How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
