the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
