I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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