tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
