Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
