it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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