eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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