piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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