Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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