Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
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