Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
