I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
