I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
