he thought i was a dude.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize