We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
