But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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