Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
4 words: hood of his car
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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