It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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